Tag Archives: Bisexuality

Bi and Proud! #Stonewall50

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This weekend, as we commemorated the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots – where the American LGBTQIA+ rights movement was birthed- I was also reminded of where I was one year ago today.

One year ago today, I was in Houston with several incredible Edgewater Congregations Together youth, 2 young adults, and one of my fantastic colleagues for the ELCA Youth Gathering and Multicultural Youth Leadership Event. And I was discerning whether or not I would come out publicly about my bisexuality.

Throughout the week, these youth and young adults created safe spaces for one another to share their struggles, fears, and joys, and they embraced and celebrated each other’s differences.

On the second to last day of our trip (which was the last full day of the Youth Gathering), our youth visited a booth hosted by the ELCA Reconciling Works.

One of these young adults asked my colleague to explain to him what all the LGBTQIA+ flags stood for. After my colleague started explaining, this young adult said: “Wait! All our youth need to hear this!” So he gathered the youth and my colleague began again. The youth were attentive and interested. They asked great questions and shared some stories about how they wanted to better understand and support their friends who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Then they grabbed rainbow tattoos and put them on their arms and took pictures. And that night they gave a standing ovation to the bisexual woman and the 11 year old trans youth who spoke on stage at the main gathering.

This weekend, I celebrated #Pride for the first time since coming out publicly about my bisexuality. And on Saturday I ran the Proud to Run Rainbow Half Marathon as a way to celebrate how God created me just the way I am.

Yesterday after church, several of my youth and young adults – including one youth who was at the Youth Gathering in Houston last summer – joined me in continuing our worship by praying with our feet and proclaiming the good news of God’s love for ALL as we marched in the Pride Parade! It was so incredibly special to march alongside them on this important Pride weekend.

And I have these youth and young adults (as well as those who led the Stonewall riots and all others who have gone before us to work for LGBTQIA+ rights and inclusion) to thank for all of this!

For it was through the loving and fully welcoming space that my youth and young adults created that day and week at the Youth Gathering that led me to come out to them about my bisexuality on our last night together in Houston and to eventually come out publicly last fall. And it was the continuous support I’ve received from them and from my other youth and young adults since coming out publicly that has led me to feel proud of who I am.

We have come a long way in the last 50 years since Stonewall, and yet we still have a long way to go.

So may we choose to follow the lead of these young people and all those who have gone before us to stand up and fight for equality for ALL!

For God is love! Love is love! We are all created by God with love, and we are all loved by God!

💗💜💙

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💗🖤

#Stonewall50 #Pride

Choose Love! #Pride

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On Wednesday night, one of my youth presented me with this collage. (I share this with her permission.) She made this collage for a project she did in her “race and sexuality” session in her high school history class. (Thank you, Senn High School!)

This is really special to me for so many reasons. Earlier this spring this youth asked if she could interview me for this project. She genuinely wanted to learn more about my story and my experiences coming out about my bisexuality. She wanted to know what it is like to be bisexual, how it is important to me and my identity, how my bisexuality enables me to see and experience the world in new (and non-binary) ways, and what my fears, struggles, and joys have been of coming out as bisexual in this society today. She wanted to show me her support.

This was beautiful and incredibly powerful: not only because she genuinely wanted to better understand who I am and learn my story… but also because she (along with several of my high school youth and a few young adults) was one of the first people I came out to (besides my husband and a few family members and friends). I came out to these youth and young adults while spending a week with them at the ELCA Multicultural Youth Leadership Event and Youth Gathering in Houston last summer – only after they created such a safe space throughout the week for all of the youth (and adults) to be themselves. Throughout the week, they supported one another in their struggles, and not only accepted one another’s differences, but they celebrated them.

I am so blessed that these young people allow me to be in their lives and choose to be a part of mine. And I am incredibly proud of who they are!

This world is better because of them.

May we choose to follow their lead! May we choose love!

And to my LGBTQIA+ siblings who are not out for whatever reason: just know that you are wonderful. You are loved and beloved. You are valid. You are not alone. And there are people out there making this a safer place for us all. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💕🖤

#proudpastor #pride #chooselove

“An Upside Down Kind of Story” – Sermon on Luke 6:17-26

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“He came down with them and stood on a level place, with a great crowd of his disciples and a great multitude of people from all Judea, Jerusalem, and the coast of Tyre and Sidon.They had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases; and those who were troubled with unclean spirits were cured. And all in the crowd were trying to touch him, for power came out from him and healed all of them.

Then he looked up at his disciples and said: ‘Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven; for that is what their ancestors did to the prophets. 

But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation.Woe to you who are full now, for you will be hungry. Woe to you who are laughing now, for you will mourn and weep. Woe to you when all speak well of you, for that is what their ancestors did to the false prophets.'” – Luke 6:17-26

In our society, we have been trained to understand the world in the binary: people must fit into one of only two boxes. Right or Wrong. Good or bad. Democrat or Republican. Conservative or liberal.   Black or white. Male or Female. Gay or Straight.

So it can often be difficult to understand anyone or anything that does not fit into one of two boxes and rather falls somewhere on a spectrum.

I do not like the binary. Because I do not fit into only one of two boxes in most areas of my life, and I know many other folks who do not either. For one: as a bisexual woman, my sexual orientation falls somewhere in the middle of a spectrum. And it can be painful to feel invisible when it is constantly assumed that I fit into only one of two boxes or when my bisexuality is actually placed into a tight box where all of the stereotypes and misconceptions about bisexuality are assumed about me.

I also definitely do not like to be placed in a box when it comes to my world views or my beliefs. This leaves no room for me to be a complex and unique human being who is constantly a work in progress.

And to see people only in the binary is not just problematic and harmful when it comes to sexual orientation, world views, or political or religious beliefs. People do not always fit into one of only two boxes when it comes to race, gender roles, ethnicity, economic status, gender identity, and the list goes on.

Seeing the world only in the binary and thus placing people into boxes is incredibly harmful because it puts parameters on what it means to be in one of these boxes and it limits and erases those who do not fit into these boxes.

Michelle Obama shares how this binary lens can be harmful in her memoir “Becoming”:

“The deeper I got into the experience of being First Lady, the more emboldened I felt to speak honestly and directly about what it meant to be marginalized by race and gender. My intention was to give younger people a context for the hate surfacing in the news and in political discourse and to give them a reason to hope. I tried to communicate the one message about myself and my station in the world that I felt might really mean something. Which was that I knew invisibility.

I’d lived invisibility. I came from a history of invisibility. I liked to mention that I was the great-great-grandaughter of a slave named Jim Robinson, who was probably buried in an unmarked grave somewhere on a South Carolina plantation. And in standing at a lectern in front of students who were thinking about the future, I offered testament to the idea that it was possible, at least in some ways, to overcome invisibility.

Later in the book, she explains: … “Hamilton (the musical) (has) touched me because it reflect(s) the kind of history I’d lived myself. It told a story about America that allowed the diversity in… So many of us go through life with our stories hidden, feeling ashamed or afraid when our whole truth doesn’t live up to some established ideal. We grow up with messages that tell us that there’s only one way to be American – that if our skin is dark or our hips are wide, if we don’t experience love in a particular way, if we speak another language or come from another country, then we don’t belong.

That is, until someone dares to start telling that story differently.”

****

Today we hear Jesus giving Luke’s version of what we often call the Beatitudes. Here – at the beginning of his ministry – while preaching a sermon on a plain – Jesus gives four blessings that compare with four woes.

Blessed are you who are poor, you who are hungry, you who are weeping, and you who are being excluded, reviled, and are experiencing acts of hate.

This sounds pretty good, right? But then Jesus continues: But woe to you who are rich, you who are full, you who are laughing, and you who are popular or who have gained the respect of others and are only spoken well of.

If we look at these Beatitudes through the lens that our society has trained us to have, it sounds a lot like Jesus is speaking only in the binary. And it seems quite harsh. People fit into one of only two boxes: and depending on the box you fit into, you are either good or bad. You either receive a blessing or a curse. You either belong to the kingdom of God or you don’t. And for many of us, this is not exactly good news, as we may actually be woe receivers in at least one of these categories at some point in our lives.

But I don’t think this is what Jesus is trying to say here.

You see, the author of Luke is very clear throughout his Gospel and its sequel – the book of Acts – that Jesus’ message is one of inclusion, not one of exclusion. The good news Jesus proclaims is not only for the Jewish community, but it is also for the Gentiles. It is not just for the religious elite, but it is also for the common laypersons.

It is not just for the powerful and the privileged, but it is also for those on the margins: the women, the widows, the children; the poor, the sick, the blind; the immigrants, the oppressed.

The Kingdom of God that Jesus is reigning in is offered to ALL people – and it is especially offered to those most vulnerable.

It is an upside down Kingdom of God, both in the here and now and that which is to come, where the last would be first and the first will be last, the poor will be blessed, and the slave will be free.

This was a radical concept – especially in a world where it was those who had religious and societal power who were seen as worthy of receiving blessings, and where those who were poor, sick, or had any physical ailments were believed to be sinful and thus cursed for their sins.

It seems to me that what Jesus is doing here is what Michelle Obama says is: daring to start telling the story differently.

You see, here in Luke, at the beginning of his ministry, Jesus comes to level the plains. Heck, he actually comes down into a level plain.

After praying in solitude in the mountains, he calls the twelve disciples, whom he also called apostles, comes back down the mountain with them and goes into a level place, where all people – especially those on the margins – can have access to him. There, he joins a multitude of people who had traveled from all over to hear him preach, to be healed of their diseases, and to be cured of unclean spirits. And so Jesus meets the people where they are at, joining them in the midst of their suffering, and stands with them on common ground.

And after healing them, he looks at his disciples and begins proclaiming these radical blessings and woes.

He has come to proclaim a Kingdom of God that calls for equality for all people and that will flip the systems of injustice upside down. He has come to bring good news to those who needed it the most.

You see, for Jesus, it is not that the rich, the full, the joyful, and the popular are not also in need of God’s love, and Jesus is not saying that they will not be included into the Kingdom of God. It is just that there are other people who need the extra attention and care right now.

This reminds me of a metaphor that I have shared before when explaining the importance of proclaiming that black lives matter. I think it is a helpful metaphor, so I’m going to share it again:

It’s like if your neighbor’s house is on fire. The firefighters are going to go to that neighbor’s house and try to put that fire out. And – if they are any good at what they do – they will not stop at your house to have a cup of coffee while they are on their way. This does not mean that your life does not matter. It just means that your neighbor (who’s house is currently burning to a crisp) needs a lot of extra attention and care right now.

Similarly, those who are poor and hungry, those who are weeping and grieving, those who are being excluded and experiencing hate are in need of extra care and attention – and maybe some blessings that offer hope – and they need it right now.

Toward the end of her book, Michelle Obama explained:

“Sitting on the inaugural stage in front of the U.S. Capital for the third time, I worked to contain my emotions. The vibrant diversity of the two previous inaugurations was gone, replaced by what felt like a dispiriting uniformity, the kind of overwhelmingly white and male tableaus I’d encountered so many times in my life – especially in the more privileged spaces, the various corridors of power I’d somehow found my way into since leaving my childhood home. What I knew from working in professional environments – from recruiting new lawyers for Sidley and Austin to hiring staff at the White House – is that sameness breeds more sameness, until you make a thoughtful effort to counteract it.”

Sameness breeds more sameness, until you make a thoughtful effort to counteract it.

This – I believe – is what Jesus is doing in Luke this morning.

He is making a thoughtful effort to counteract the sameness that harms and oppresses those who do not fit into the boxes that society uplifts.

And as he looks up at his disciples when he offers his blessings and woes, he is also looking up at us, calling us to follow him in counteracting this harmful sameness, as well.

Through Jesus’ woes, he commissions us through some warnings. And he makes clear that those of us who have more than enough, who are in power, who are privileged, or whose lives are going well at this particular time must not worship our worldly power, wealth, and status. And we must not hold tight to our current situation and our privilege while ignoring those around us who are suffering and vulnerable.

This means that those of us who are on top and have been centered have to come down from the mountain and step backwards, allowing others who have been lowered into the margins to be uplifted and centered. It means that those of us who have excess need to give up some of what we have and share with others who are in need.

It means that those of us who are joyful and doing well right now must not be so consumed with our own lives that we fail to see the needs of others around us.

It means that we don’t just sit around watching the firefighters put out the fire in our neighbor’s house. We actually join them in offering our neighbor the care and attention that they need.

*****

You see, here on this level plain at the beginning of his ministry, Jesus has dared to start telling the story differently.

So may we choose to follow him in this holy work.

Guest Post at RevGalBlogPals: “The Pastoral Is Political: Let’s Talk About Bisexuality”

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I have honestly been very nervous about writing and posting this. However, I believe it’s incredibly important… Below is an excerpt. You can click the link to read the rest of the article: “The Pastoral Is Political: Let’s Talk About Bisexuality” on RevGalBlogPals here.

“Bisexuality is incredibly misunderstood, even in some of the most LGBTQIA+ affirming churches and communities. And while bisexuality is becoming more accepted within society, biphobia and bi erasure are still alive and well…

I keep going back to the question I have often received when coming out: “Why does it matter?”

… It matters because it is a part of who I am. When I denied this part of me or kept it silent, I carried a lot of shame and withheld a big part of who I am from God, others, and myself. Yet, I was created in God’s image, I am beautifully and wonderfully made in all of my bi-ness, and God loves me just the way I am. And nothing and no one can take that away from me: not even another person’s disapproval, discomfort, or lack of understanding.

It matters because I do exist. And I should be free to feel proud of and celebrate the person God created me to be, rather than be made to feel so ashamed about who I am that I must keep it a secret.

It matters because there are many others who are not out due to their fear that nobody would understand or accept them. I want them to know that they are celebrated for who they are and that they are not alone.”

https://revgalblogpals.org/2019/01/30/the-pastoral-is-political-lets-talk-about-bisexuality/